Birthday Eve of an "Old Maid"

I woke up this morning, on the eve of my birthday, feeling anxious. And not the good kind, either. I looked around and saw myself sleeping in my twin bed. Granted, it's a very cool bed. A pallet bed, with a vintage door as a headboard (maybe in another post). I looked at the mess my room was. Currently, I have boxes and a suitcase that hasn't quite been unpacked, since my last trip. We won't discuss when that last trip was. It did take place in the last 6 months. The boxes are from our last move and I haven't found the energy to unpack. New Years resolution, maybe? This, I'm sure, doesn't seem like a big deal, but I'm turning 28, tomorrow. Along with taking in my surroundings, as a 28 year old woman, a barrage of thoughts run through my mind....

1. I'm not married. God is punishing me for disobeying my parents during my teenage life and dating all of those corrupt boys. Sorry, to any of my exes that might be reading this blog. My brother is dating this cute little girl and I swear if he gets married before I do, I'll probably just shoot myself. He's 18. 

2. I don't have kids. My friends have kids. Lots of them. My younger sister already has two. One of my friends almost has a teenager. Ok, close enough. She's 9. I think?

3. I don't own my own home. The only thing I own is my Honda.......

Ok, the main worry was the whole "marriage" thing. When you're constantly asked "What's wrong with you?", "Why aren't you married, yet?", "Oh, your sister is younger and she's already married. And with kids? Wow. Why have you waited, so long?". Really? Do you know how stupid you sound, asking someone that? It's rude. But, after awhile, you start to think, "Is there something actually wrong with me?", "Did I skip a step, somewhere?".

And the anxiety built it's way up. This worried me all morning long, while I worked out, ate breakfast, stalked people's Facebook pages, caught up on Twitter, until I finally asked my mom and sister, "Am I an old maid?". Ok, I know I'm not an old maid. I just couldn't think of a better word to use. And, I'm sure if you're reading this, you're thinking "She's only turning 28. You'd think she was turning 50.". And, if you're thinking that, then you are apparently not accustomed to my world and we should meet. I already like you. In my world, they think if you're not married by 18, with a child on the way, you have revolted against tradition. Seriously. I think it's a way for parents to quickly get their children married off, so they don't have a bunch of grandkids out of wedlock, running around. I guess, they'd rather them be unhappily married, fighting nasty divorces a few years down the road, and squabbling over who gets full custody of little Johnny. Just as long as they kept them from fornicating, though. Wow, where did that come from? 

Ok, back to me being an old maid. My mom and sister gave me a very nice pep talk. One, I already knew but I guess just needed to hear. My sister summed it up, nicely, "You could be a very unhappy married woman, right now. Count your blessings. And for the record, you are not an old maid, nothing's wrong with you and you're getting a degree. Stop worrying.". She's my hero. 

In our world, today, it's normal for 28 year old's to be single and on their own. Recent studies have said 30 is the average age to get married. Sadly, in the "world" I live in, you should have a teenager by 30. Ok, maybe a little exaggerated. Seriously, who made up the "old maid" thing? I'd like to meet that person. Although, I'm afraid that was several years ago, which proves my point. We're in the 21st century. 

My sister's comment about being unhappily married, did remind me of decisions I made when I was 19. I almost walked down the aisle at 19. 19? Was I smoking crack? Ok, pretty sure I wasn't.

Quick side note, here: I cringe when I think of a couple under 20, getting married. They're not adults. I don't care if 18 is the "legal age". You are still maturing and doing this with another individual, in the same boat, under the same roof, is a recipe for disaster. 

And for the record, I make no apologies about what I am about to say, if you're reading this and you know me, personally. I quickly thought of what the circumstances might have been if I had made a different decision. And the ironic thing is. I'd still be 28, living at home. But, the circumstances would be different. I wouldn't be a college student, pursuing a degree, having already owned my own business, involved in my church for the past 6 years, etc. I would be a bitter divorced person, possibly with a child, being forced to live with my parents after a very unhappy marriage, picking up the broken pieces, trying to piece my life back together, after that "prince charming" had turned out to be someone, I had mistakenly thought I knew. But, because I made a wise decision almost 10 years ago, the circumstances are quite different. And I don't feel bad, at all. I feel relieved. No, I'm not married. So, what? No, I don't own my own home. Really? I live in one of the most expensive cities in North America. But, I am happy and content. It's taken me 10 years to get it right, where I finally feel like I'm at the right place in life, at the right time. Today has been a day of reflection, upon my life. Looking at the lessons I've learned, the  memories I've made and finding myself, as an adult. That's the best birthday gift, I can give to myself.

It's where you are in life, as an individual, and accepting it, that counts and matters the most.What you consider to be a contended place in life, might not be the same for someone else. Nobody can account for that. Only you. 

If I could stand in front of an audience of teenagers getting ready to face the road called "life", in front of them, I'd shout as loud as I could "GO TO COLLEGE!". If it were an audience of young girls anxiously trying to find that "prince charming", I would encourage them to, wait. Don't rush it. You will appreciate this decision, when you're older. I'm appreciating it, now. Don't let the pressure of your friends and others make you say "yes" to the first guy that comes along. To an audience of young adults, trying to find themselves, make YOU happy and forget about the rest. Because, at the end of the day, you can either find yourself happy, sleeping in a vintage pallet bed, surrounded by boxes that need to be unpacked or in a world you don't even recognize.

And for the record, the vintage pallet bed is super comfy.

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to this "old maid"!

Cheers!