They say change is good. I'm used to change. I can easily adjust. So, I think. After all, my parents did move our entire family from the midwest (Oklahoma) to San Francisco, when I was 14. Huge culture shock. Change at that age is tough. I left behind friends, everything I knew. I will not lie and say it was easy. Now, I've lived here just as long as I did in the Midwest. San Francisco is my home. Throughout the years, I've experienced my fair share of change. Teenage years are fun but also a pain in the butt. First loves, breakups, high school graduation, adulthood, trying to find yourself. The truth is, you really don't find yourself until you get into adulthood. I think one of the biggest changes in my life, was when my little sister got married. She's two years younger than me (Yes, can you believe it? She got married before me. Totally, broke tradition. That little rebel!) and we are the best of friends. God knew what He was doing when He gave my parents two girls, close in age. He knew that years down the road, when we made that move from the Midwest to the West Coast, that we'd need each other. And we were stuck like glue. We helped each other get through the change. When she got married, I was so happy for her, but at the same time, I was heartbroken. I panicked. At 23 years old. My best friend was growing up, moving on and I was still stuck at home. We did everything together. We even shared a room, at the time. Who would I giggle with at night, going to bed? Who would I vent to? Now, there's this guy in the picture. I guess, I forgot about the fact she would just be a phone call away. And 10 minutes down the road. I was wise enough to know that when you get married, you can't just drop everything to go hang out with your best friend, even if it was your sister. But I adjusted to the change, again.
Still, the best of friends.
Still, the best of friends.
Wanted to post this picture of my sister, on her wedding day. So beautiful!
Every aspect of change has pros and cons. The cons are obvious. It's uncomfortable, out of your comfort zone. The pros you don't really see until the change has happened. At least for me, change has always strengthened me. It's made me a better person. If we never had change, life would never evolve, it would just stay right there, in the same rut. And who likes ruts?
Two years ago, a friend invited me to go to Europe, with her. I was ecstatic. I was still teaching and knew that if I wanted to go, I couldn't make it on just my teaching salary. I started a little accessories hobby on the side, utilizing my crafty genes, my beautiful mother handed down. After a few months, different boutiques in SF were wanting to carry my work and I soon realized I was consistently making more than my teaching job. I was also working myself to the bone. I decided to take my little accessories gig full time and launch it into a full bona fide business, with the encouragement and support of my family and friends. Here we go. Change, again.
I thought I would be prepared for this change. Wrong. It was like somebody had thrown me overboard into a raging sea storm and told me to swim. I was so overwhelmed, I thought "Charity Brooke, what have you gotten yourself, into?". Whether it's a small business from home or huge corporation, it's tough! Without boring you to tears, I will sum the last two years up in one word. Crazy. I can't count the number of nights I pulled an all nighter, trying to meet deadlines, get orders shipped out. The money I've invested. The sacrifices it's caused and the lost memories with my family and friends. These last two years, I cannot get back. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for the success my little business has made. It's been adventurous and wonderful, but when you have absolutely no life and you're putting very important things on the back burner, it's just not worth it. The truth is, my parents have encouraged me to take it easy. I've found myself hunkered down in a corner, crying and so overwhelmed, thinking "Oh, God. I'm going to have a nervous breakdown before I'm 30.". Not cool.
A lot of this, I've brought on myself. I do not know how to say "no". I take on project, after project, after project. It's like a challenge for me. "Ok, Charity. Let's see how many things you can take on. Who cares if you don't get any sleep. You're only young once.". Wrong! Throughout the last two years, my parents have hounded me about going back to school. They weren't necessarily encouraging me to quit my business, but they believed that it's always a good thing to have a "plan B" and let's face it, if the economy gets bad enough, I'm pretty sure the last thing people will be thinking of buying, is a hair accessory, unless it's edible. They've been happy for me, supportive and all that wonderful stuff parents are supposed to be but they hated seeing me so close to the "finish line", so to speak, to waste it. So, I thought since I own my own business and make up my own hours, I have no excuse to not be finishing up my degree in teaching. Last fall, I attempted to go back. The truth is, I didn't attempt very well. I got as far as browsing the school catalog. Then the holidays were upon us and I put it on the back burner, again. This time, my parents were putting on the pressure. Another thing, parents are good at. I'm going to admit to you, they didn't have to put too much pressure, on me. I caved, so easily. The truth is, I was exhausted. I was tired of fighting what I knew was the right thing to do. It was not right for me to work myself to the bone, not finishing a degree and putting every other priority in life, on hold. I had to face this head on. It's time to go back to school, but I had lost my interest in the possibility of a teaching degree. Whoops.
I've always loved writing. I remember in school, my teachers told me I should pursue something in this area. In past college courses, I excelled at giving speeches (imagine that), drama and writing good papers. My sister, out of the clear blue, told me at Christmas, "Charity, you like to be up on current events and writing. I could see you as a reporter.". Hmmm. I hadn't given it much thought, until a few months ago, when I was writing our kids Christmas musical and I realized, I really enjoy writing. Just out of curiosity, I started looking at different fields you could use a journalism major in and was surprised at how large of a field it was. The possibilities were endless. But, I already had all of these education electives done. I'm almost there. I have a lot of experience in teaching and working with kids. A college major switch would just be too much change, even though I've completely lost interest in teaching. Just to see how my family would react, I mentioned this to my mom, who immediately told me, "Charity, I really wish you would just finish your teaching degree. If you took a job as a news reporter or journalist, you could end up in a war zone and die.". So, my dramatic side comes from my mom. Yes, I love children and working with them. But, I work with our kids ministry and if I'm teaching to a classroom full of 20 students, 5 days out of the week, there will be a point when I will be sick of kids.
They say to follow your heart. Do what makes you happy. I sat there, one day, thinking of myself as a teacher again, and the possibility just didn't excite me. It was drab. I then pictured myself using a journalism degree and I knew what I was supposed to do. So, I prayed about it and talked to my parents about the possibility of a major switch. Yes, even at 28 I still wait for my parents "green light". I've learned my lesson on that one, too many times. If there's something I'm good at, it's making a case. I came prepared. I didn't have to prepare too much, because my parents were pretty supportive of the idea, thanks to my dad. He's always encouraged me to write. I officially switched my major and redid my class schedule, that evening. The next day, my dad told me, "Charity, I really think you've made the right choice with this major switch and you're on the right path.". Ok, this was basically like the Lord, telling me. No, my dad is not the Lord, but he talks to Him, often.
Upon making this decision, I was faced with a little problem. How will I transition my full time business, which keeps me very busy, into a part time business, with my focus being on finishing my degree? This is the next change in my life. I've just decided there will always be change. Big and/or small. I know from previous semesters that attending class is probably the smallest responsibility of attending school. In true Charity fashion, I'm taking a full load. 15 units. In order to achieve something, you must work for it, right? Well, it appears in order for me to get my degree in December, I will have to take on a full load every semester, including summer, this year. With this 15 units, comes homework, projects, study groups, midterms and finals. Again, where does my little business come into play, here?
I'm going back to "the basics". I started Dainty Button as a means to get me to Europe, two years ago, today. In the beginning stages, it was simple. Not too much pressure and the extra cash was nice. I took on what I could, keeping in mind that I still had a teaching job and that was my priority. School will be replacing that old teaching job and Dainty Button will be a means to get me through college, until I graduate in December and pursue a career in Journalism. That sounds so odd but exciting. The awesome thing about going to school, this time around? I have no bills, with the exception of a very small insurance premium and the needed day to day expenses. My little Honda is paid off and I still live at home, rent free. Pretty awesome, right? So, my focus is school.
This change happening, next week will definitely be a challenge. I've got to manage how I will control incoming sales, when to process these sales, where to fit study time in, homework and when to meet those study groups, as we work on projects, as well as keeping my church responsibilities. All of this, so I'm not overloaded with school, homework and business, while preventing myself from pulling all nighters. This will be a big decrease in salary, for me, as well. I'm nervous. I already have a habit of taking on too much and I'm praying that I can finally learn the power of saying "no". I've gone over my schedule over and over, analyzing every little detail, but in true essence, this is one that I'm going to have to just see what happens when I cross that bridge, next week. I'm expecting the next few weeks of my life to be a little uncomfortable and weird. It's change. But in December, I'm hoping that I can look back on this year and see the benefits of the sacrifices I'm making to better myself and how change can be good for you!
Cheers!
Charity
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